Staring Into Mirrors
by Alerting Alliteration
Summary: In the final battle between Sasuke and Itachi the younger brother has clearly won, so why is he hesitating? Itachi tries to reason out why he killed his clan while he bleeds to death. Oneshot. All reviews are welcome, even flames.


This was really hard for me to write, just because in order to I had to try to understand Itachi. Not the best…not very exciting really, but I did my best. This fanfiction is dedicated to lost-in-shangrila. Thank you, I never would have written this if it hadn't been for your hilarious fanfiction and inspirational review reply!

I tried to keep Itachi in character as much as possible…but that didn't really work. Well, at least he isn't molesting Sasuke or something like that. I can't really write Itachi well at all. Something I had to get off my chest I suppose. Reviews are very welcome, even flames are accepted, because believe it or not…they can help me!

The facts probably aren't exactly right since it's been a long time since I watched Sasuke's flashbacks. I wanted to edit it more but decided against it because I probably would end up making it into a total train wreck if I tried. All the thinking is Itachi's, he's the main character….well that's it…can't avoid the inevitable…I guess you are going to read it now. PLEASE REVIEW!

Alerting Alliteration

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**Staring into Mirrors**

Cold hands gripped Itachi's neck as they held him to the wall. The position wasn't really a necessary one, his body was weak from blood loss; Sasuke was in no danger of losing this battle. In fact he had already won. The younger brother only used it to complete tradition; Sasuke held Itachi to the wall the same way Itachi had to him ten years ago. _Why isn't he finishing me?_ It puzzled Itachi to see that Sasuke was prolonging his death deliberately. The dark crimson of his blood was dripping down his brothers ivory skin. The line his blood made was perfect, it ran down his chin and pooled at his brother's hands, you couldn't even tell what color skin they were anymore, all you could see was Itachi's blood.

_Ironic, _Itachi thought to himself, _he's getting more blood on his hands killing me than I did when I slaughtered our whole clan. _Itachi watched as his blood trailed from Sasuke's wrists, leaving neat tendrils of red on teenager's arms before being soaked up by the white of his Kimono.

_He's never going to get that stain out…_Still it was strange that Sasuke hadn't killed him yet. His brother wasn't cruel. He was sure Sasuke didn't intend for him to suffer. _Is he hesitating? _

As if in reply, Sasuke looked up and brought his gaze to Itachi's. It was the first time Sasuke had really looked at him their whole fight. It was the first time_ anyone_ had looked at Itachi in a long time. Even Itachi couldn't seem to confront himself; there were no mirrors in the Akatsuki's lair just for this purpose. Itachi never wanted to see his face again. It hurt. Whenever he tried to look in a mirror he was assaulted by two people staring back at him, neither of which was himself. All he saw was his brother and father, their features merging into his. They shamed him, because they had respected him. Seeing them in him disturbed Itachi; anything that disturbed him he had learned to cover up with anger.

But when Itachi looked into Sasuke's eyes it wasn't like any mirror he had ever seen; for the first time in his lifetime Itachi looked and only saw himself. He was a disgusting sight, he realized, with blood pouring out of his mouth the same color as his swollen half closed eyes. His always neat hair was for once a mess, tangled and crusted over with blood. His Akatsuki cloak had been ripped in battle and was tossed to the side of the room, revealing his white underclothing: boxers and a shirt. Anyone could have easily mistaken Itachi for a patient at a hospital.

Suddenly Itachi realized why he could see himself so clearly; Sasuke had deactivated his Sharingan, now his eyes were back to a kind, innocent shade of black. Sasuke's face was no longer contorted in rage; he looked like he was struggling with his emotions. His face relaxed into an expression of inner agony.

"Why?" The smaller boy asked. How was it possible for one word to carry over ten years of anguish?

Itachi looked down at his younger brother, taken by surprise. The Akatsuki member had thought Sasuke might ask, but not like this, not with his voice breaking in the middle of the question and his eyes brimming over with tears. This kind of question, the kind where a little brother asked his mentor, that was not one he was prepared to answer. Perhaps because of this Itachi let is mind wander to subjects he hadn't let himself think about for years.

_Why little brother? Do you really want to know why? Sasuke, when everyone looks at you and expects you to be perfect you…no that's not the truth, that's an excuse. _

_I had been young, I wanted to learn more. When everyone kept watching me and idolizing me it made me ashamed because I was less than what they thought. Every single thing I did wrong ate at my soul. I didn't know how to not punish myself for not being perfect. _

_Oh, I was angry, so angry that it hurt. My mentor, my teacher, my best friend, the only one left I was able to look up to, the only one who I could really rely on, told me that I had surpassed him. He said it proudly; he must have thought it would make me happy. He was the only one keeping me sane, but after that…I killed him. I knew the myth, but that wasn't the only reason why; I didn't really believe it. I tried to kill him but what I really wanted was for him to be able to stop me._

_If he had killed me then, that would have made me happy. Just to know that he had lied, that he was the strong one, and that no one expected anything of me anymore would have been enough._

_When I killed him and got the Mangekyou Sharingan I didn't know what to do. I was overwhelmed by it. It was too much power, and when people became suspicious of me I just got more and more confused. I just wanted to shed my responsibilities. I was so jealous of you, little brother! You seemed so free to do what you wanted. You looked at being a ninja as an important goal in your life, you were so innocent! I ruined that for you. I am sorry for that, at least. I am sorry that I cut your childhood short. You are definitely not a kid anymore. Sasuke. _

_Part of the reason why I killed the clan was for rebellion and also...it made me hated. Do you know that hate is a relief? Everyone expect something rotten and horrid out of you all the time! No one looks up to you, or admires you, the just hate you! You don't need justification for the things you do; the reason why you do them is that you are evil. It's so guilt free. Who knew that killing would be the thing that rid me of my guilt? That's not entirely true…when I saw you…the look you gave me. I know you think I let you live because I wanted you to become like me, or I wanted you to be an avenger, or that I had to save myself the guilt of killing a whole clan. That's bullshit. The truth, Sasuke, I know you want the truth. It's hard for me to tell it to you because I know how much it will hurt and confuse you. _

_When I saw your little frightened face so full of horror and surprise, shaking in terror, I knew that you didn't see the genius ANBU leader killing your parents. You saw me, your older brother that you cared about, killing the two other people you cherished most in the world. It must have hurt you just as much, if not more, to lose me as it did to lose them. Sasuke, now I know you will never be like me. Thank you. I have to answer now. I'm giving you the truth, not the long explanation for why I killed our whole clan, that I can keep to myself. Sasuke, this is just the reason that I kept you alive. _

Sasuke's grip loosened on Itachi's neck and he set his brother down to the ground. As Sasuke's older brother sputtered out blood in front of him Itachi beckoned for him to come closer. Sasuke knelt next to him where he lay dying. The young Uchiha pulled up the older one so he could speak. Itachi was still on the ground only now he was sitting upright, next to his sibling. He turned so he was looking into Sasuke's eyes and spoke his last words. They were ones that would never be forgotten.

"I love you." He rasped while staring into his brother's stricken face. For the first time in over ten years Itachi allowed himself to smile. As Itachi's limp lifeless body collapsed onto Sasuke the boy couldn't stop himself from murmuring his reply under his breathe.

"I love you too."


End file.
